I remember 4 years ago when we lived in fredericksburg. We’d been through a lot and had a lot to go through still. I was a 19 year old mom of 3, we were at our first place, my husband worked before the sun was up until after it went down. Almost no off days, I had almost no close friends during this time. I had a very vulnerable heart to sin and the world , my husband too. The odds were against us and always have been.
It was a time of crushing and pressure which is really Gods way for preparation. That stands true to this day.
I remember sitting down in the morning to read my bible and the words just not sticking at all. The words not making sense. Still I wanted to be devoted like so many I saw go through storms similar to what I was living in and they made it through by one thing- God. I would read the words and walk away and forget what I even read. I wouldn’t apply it during the day. Wouldn’t pray about it. In one ear and out the other. Reading is a passion but scripture memory/ application a weak spot.
So maybe this is you? Maybe you want to be close with God but it’s just really hard? Possibly you have more questions than answers? Not to mention too many people are talking in the world about what is right and wrong and even saying the Bible isn’t true.
Let me tell you what God was doing to me in that moment. What he is desiring to do in you. He was growing my heart. Why? Because what the Lord wants MOST from us is that we truly love him. If we don’t truly love the Lord we think following him is a list of rules and if you’re following rules without loving the rule giver it’s a relationship prone to fail! What does it matter if we do the “right” things but or hearts don’t trust in God? We will burn out, misrepresent Christ and fall away. We truly love him by understanding his character and part of that is reading and knowing who he is BUT part of that believing God is faithful. And living our life like we believe that.
A lot of times we don’t feel like God is working on our behalf but God is faithful! When we were starting out and even today many, many times I don’t feel like I can trust God. I have to bring myself back to the truth. (Read 1 Corinthians 1:9)
I went to a conference where A prophet I really admire spoke about a time when he felt like he was loosing his mind. So much so, He drove himself to a mental institution. As someone who deals with anxiety, depression and hearing and fearing the voice of the Lord I can relate. He said as he was driving himself there he just started shouting.
“GOD IS FAITHFUL, GOD IS FAITHFUL, GOD IS FAITHFUL!!”
Then He proceeded to tell us.
“When you feel crazy, God is faithful. When you think you’re loosing your mind, God is faithful. when you’ve done the wrong thing and messed it all up, God is faithful! GOD IS FAITHFUL! GOD IS FAITHFUL!”
So friend, when you can barely digest the words of the Bible, God is faithful.
When you are so alone, God is faithful!
When you’re abandoned, God is faithful!
When the load you carry is too heavy, God is faithful!
When you give your heart to those who don’t deserve it and you’re left broken, God is faithful!
When the visions aren’t fulfilled, God is faithful!
Now YOU come up with some personal ones. This is my favorite exercise. Because it’s not about affirming or uplifting me. I can’t in my own power handle everything. It’s about leaning into the one whose strength is complete, and everything I’m lacking he has. He is faithful. Anyone who lives their life depending on the true God doesn’t die disappointed. (Read all of psalm 119)
What does it mean that God is faithful? It means He will complete the work in you that He started. ( Read Philippians 1:6) Does a artist abandon a piece he knows will be worthy? Does a carpenter abandon a house once he’s built the structure? Does a surgeon give up and leave his patient cut open on the operating table? Then how much more will a perfect God finish this work he started in you?
God is faithful!