Mama, Lament…

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I’m convinced that in motherhood we all must mourn. We must mourn our unmet expectations, our inability, unmet expectations of others, our unrealistic ideas, our compulsions, our needs that are constantly suppressed. As we are pouring ourselves out at a rate that we can not fill back up as fast as.

Motherhood is God greatest teacher for women. That’s why the hot button topic of abortion is so prominent. Spiritually we will all one day see that Satan hates mother’s. Our battle isn’t flesh and blood. He hates for us to love our babies and learn all that motherhood teaches. Thus why even when we choose to, he will twist and distort what it should be like. Throw in the reality of how tired we are and it’s nearly impossible.

We see everywhere the distortion of motherhood. But usually it’s not so much what others say or do. It’s our projection of what we expect motherhood to be like. So we must mourn.

But allow me to let you in on something. The quote above is from a book I’m reading and it applies entirely to motherhood. It’s been getting me through it since I was 17. But now because of this book I have a name for it… lament.

As mamas we can’t shove down our motherly hurts and expect to be better moms because we shoved it perceptibly out of sight. I’m infamous for doing this. We must lament. I’m learning that it is actually an art and done entirely in Gods presence it can heal you up so well! There is NO formula. There is only God and thank Him that is enough.

Confession: I just sat on the floor of my kitchen crying and not in a sad “woe is me” type way. In a way of pouring out my unmet expectations, my inability, the unmet expectations of others, my unrealistic ideas, my compulsions, my needs that are constantly suppressed.

It was worship, it was lament. All of us moms do it or at least have at one point, so don’t act like I’m crazy for saying it. Afterward I feel so good… like the creator of the world just wrapped me up and listened to me. I know tomorrow will be a new day and it seems so daunting but when I sit with God He shows me there is a MUCH bigger picture. His presence continues to meet me on the floor of my kitchen at 8:30 at night, at the sink at noon, and even behind a locked bathroom door at 2:30 when I’m having my occasional mid-day breakdown.

The pain of motherhood will teach us so much but once the lesson is learned.. “He wants pain to leave our hearts, minds and bodies…. He gives us a language and that language is lament”

To God be the glory.

-Alison

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