I’m going to get straight to the point. I’ve learned that real mentorship has to be pursued. Me and my husband are guilty of saying our mentors have ditched us, when we were younger. With some age and wisdom I’ve learned usually that’s not the case. I’m writing this because I’ve heard many young adults complain that their mentors have abandoned them during their time of trial and need.
I need to say first and foremost what I’m writing may not reach all of the mishaps of mentorship. Once again this article is not a means to answer everything pertaining to mentorship. Rather, it’s just some knowledge I’ve gained and a conviction God’s put in my heart. As I’ve said many times, this writing pertains to believers. Those who want to spread the gospel of Jesus and live lives for God.
A good mentor is like the shepherd’s assistant. The shepherd’s assistant job is to watch the Good Shepherd and learn what he does. But while under the shepherd he is never equal. He watches the shepherd spare a sheep from a wolf. He watches as the shepherd redirects sheep as they go astray, and when a sheep gets stuck on its back, the shepherd flips the sheep back over. Meanwhile the shepherd’s assistant stands by the flock and watches. He tends to the safe sheep, because the safe sheep have chosen to stay in the fold. The shepherd’s assistant is not supposed to play the part of leaving the 99 to chase down the one. That is only the Good Shepherd’s job.
A good mentor isn’t supposed to be our salvation or spoon feed you the Bible. A good mentor doesn’t constantly pursue someone to teach. A good mentor is nothing more than a constant believer that has walked long enough and loved God close enough that they are overflowing. The mentee simply reaps the benefit of a genuine walk.
If you’re choosing to walk away from what God has for you, don’t blame a mentor for stepping out on you when you were the one who took the first step away. Years ago, if I had read that I would have been extremely offended. Still as young adults we need to pursue godly men and women to lead us. We need to take responsibly for our mentorship.
Yes sometimes mentors give us hard truths to swallow. Or they challenge us to be stronger than we thought we were. But the same way our bodies grow sore from working out is the same way our spirits show signs of strength. The same way some of us need personal trainers or we never get fit is the same way we need mentoring.
I will leave you with this. Several years ago I was abandoned by a mentor solely on the fact that I told her I didn’t believe entirely in boundaries the way she did. I gave her a biblical reason why. And later that night after our second meeting, after telling me the only people she had ever refused to meet with are those who practice bestiality, she told me she couldn’t help me. In the end I know it was God protecting me. Because after even our two times of meeting I questioned her random fits of rage, her persistent pride, and her causal cursing. That’s not the women of God I want to be. It doesn’t change the fact that it hurts. In a time of need when I showed up I was rejected in something that seemed like a misconception. Maybe someone reading this has been in a similar situation. It doesn’t change the fact that we should still be in pursuit of that person above us. Not someone to play God or be God and not someone we talk to more than we pray. But a dependable person who can always pick up where you left off. A person who can trail blaze with you.
Trust God. Pursue good mentorship. If it’s for you, you will be able to say you put in the effort. And God will get all the glory